Tag Archives: child behaviour

Keep Calm and Improve Your Routine

07/10/2015

ADHD and Attention skills , Behaviours and Discipline , Parenting Skills , Resilience and Self-confidence

Changes Psychology Team

A routine can help improve the chaos of family life, and improving the family’s routine, and getting the rest of the gang onboard, can improve the behaviour and independence of your kids.

When designing or re-designing a family’s routine, here are some points to consider:

1) WRITE DOWN YOUR CURRENT ROUTINE AND MAKE IT SEEN

Most parents have the routine stored in their heads and only verbalise it to kids,or ‘nag’ as the kids perceive it. We find that families that write down, let everyone know the routine, make copies and stick it on fridges and bedroom walls,and follow to the same pattern EVERY DAY have much more success. If a routine is written down it’s much easier to identify steps in the routine that can be modified to reduce behaviours. CONSISTENCY OF IMPLEMENTATION is the key!

You can find examples of picture and other types of visual routines all over the internet to steal, modify and blu-tac.

2) CONSIDER THE ORDER OF TASKS-

More effective routines will have tasks that are less interesting or boring for kids first , then an enjoyable/fun activity or time with parents following it. When designing a routine, or sequence of tasks, always think Boring task, Boring task, Fun or rewarding task, instead of the more commonly used and less successful fun, boring, boring, boring. Here’s an example for a Morning routine:

Breakfast (boring)
Clean teeth/Brush hair (boring)
School uniform and shoes on (boring)
Get to watch tv/play with Lego until it’s time to leave the house ( fun).

Reminding them, the quicker they finish the task the more time they get onto the reward task. Most kids need to experience this on several occasions before it motivates them consistently. So don’t give up and keep at it! Even on days when it all falls to pieces.

3) IF PROBLEM BEHAVIOURS OCCUR OCCUR TRY TO-

Identify the cause of behaviour and acknowledge it to the child (eg you seem tired, you’ve had a bad day today) and
do the boring task with the child so they copy you ,keeping your words to a minimum, rather than telling them what to do if they are already upset.

If you find that these ideas simply don’t work with your children, and/or feel a bit overwhelmed while behaviours worsen, it might be time to contact a psychologist who specialises in parenting skills to help you problem solve and understand other possible reasons causing your child’s behaviour that you you use to inform your routine.

Why Routines Work

04/10/2015

ADHD and Attention skills , Behaviours and Discipline , Parenting Skills , Resilience and Self-confidence

Changes Psychology Team

Routines help to teach kids sequences of behaviours, promote independence over time, and save time in the mornings and evenings.

However, many parents don’t realise how powerful routines can be in reducing the frequency and intensity of problem behaviours at particular times of the day, if they are adjusted correctly.

‘Traditional’ parenting approaches focus on implementing strategies that aim to STOP behaviours -negative reinforcement, but until kids come with computer chips installed that we can program through an ipad app, which we’d agree would be cool and entertaining, it’s not possible to 100% control a child’s, or any other human beings, behaviour.

Organisations like Fair Work Australia have come into being to protect employees against inappropriate ‘negative reinforcement’ in the form of bullying, discrimination and verbal abuse. Instead of focusing on punishing or threatening, great employers focus management efforts and training on encouraging positive reinforcement and a ‘supportive/learning’ culture in the workplace in order to retain staff and get greater productivity out of them. So if other sectors of society see the benefits of positive over negative reinforcement in getting the best out of human beings, then why would many home routines continue to focus more on negative reinforcement than positive reinforcement?

Research shows that parents are more likely to resort back to the strategies their parents used during times of stress and conflict. In most cases it’s good parents running out of options that work. And the reality is that setting up a ‘whole new system’ of positive reinforcement to encourage more appropriate behaviours through some routine planning takes a lot more time, effort and perseverance than threatening punishments or removing privileges.
Our psychologists work extensively with families to help them develop ‘whole new systems’ to reduce problem behaviours over time through some routine planning and adaptions, rather than a “try a different strategy or quick fix approach” to deal with different inappropriate behaviours that arise.

So despite the boring and “I know what a routine is!” responses many parents have when ‘routines’ are mentioned, they really are like the foundation you build your house on as they provide the underlying stability for everything else to be built on in a household with children.

Therefore we encourage a TEACH AND REWARD approach to managing problem behaviours rather than a STOP BEHAVIOURS approach which is backed by a lot more research and our observations from working with hundreds of families. The word “discipline” is actually derived from the latin word “disciplinare”, which literally means “to teach”….not punish.

And YES, it generally takes a lot of repetition, consistency and persistence over several weeks, NOT SEVERAL DAYS, to test and reap the behavioural benefits of routines, but it will save you so much time and emotional energy in the long term.

Parenting Problems: How to reduce screen time battles

27/08/2015

Behaviours and Discipline , Parenting Skills , Technology, Device Use and Social Media

Changes Psychology Team

The best way to manage child screen rage is to avoid it in the first place.

Easier said than done, we know!

Here are some tips on how to promote healthy screen time in your household so both you and your children are clear about the expectations and boundaries when using electronic devices such as TVs, computers, video games, phones or tablets.

When introducing screen time to a young child, consider how it will be used, when it can be used to best assist your family dynamic and routine, and set time frames and conditions at the very early stages so that children know the rules and boundaries. It is also useful to determine the purpose of computer or device use: is it for homework, social networking or entertainment?

Avoid using electronic devices with babies and young toddlers as sitting still looking at a green, even those proposing to be educational, limits the opportunities to explore the child’s real immediate world through movement (crawling, walking), play, using the full range of eye movement, and engaging in social interactions with others (Australian Government Department of Health and Aging, 2010).

Use other motivators – Try to offer rewards and punishments that are unrelated to screen use as too much focus on screen time can increase a child’s interest and desire to use screens. If you must use TV/computer/iPad time as a motivator, consider offering it as just one of several rewards your kids can choose from.

Set up time limits for use and help with transitions – having these limits clearly set out BEFORE screen use will reduce the likelihood of arguments later. Helping kids move onto another activity WITH you, initially, will assist them to focus on the next thing rather than get stuck on the idea of needing the screen, e.g. “C’mon let’s go brush your teeth together, then you can pick a story”.

Help kids keep track of the time frames and give warnings before the time frames end. Use visual and/or auditory timers, alarms, daily routine lists, or refer to daily events like “now until dinner”. Some devices allow you to set time periods for use or there are even Apps available to allow remote shutdown of devices.

Don’t engage in discussion, arguing or attempted persuading when time’s done. Children and adolescents need boundaries, even when they don’t like them, and if you stick to those boundaries, kids learn pretty quickly that screen rage doesn’t change your mind.

Remove electronic devices from easy access to kids during the night or at inappropriate times if they are likely to be tempted- putting all devices on charge in a certain area at a certain time for example, and turning off the TV at a certain time.

Get active – some of the greatest concerns about screen use in children is in regard to the sedentary nature of activities associated with screens (TV being the worst offender)(Okely, et al., 2012) but many devices these days allow activity and social play, such as Wii and Xbox games. So encourage kids to be active during screen use – play tennis or a soccer game, or white water rafting….

Find other things your kids love to do, with you, and alone. Help kids find alternatives to the PS4 or the DVD player that they’ll like just as much both indoors and outside. These activities can be quiet (e.g. reading) or active (e.g. jumping on trampoline).

Establish device free times and spaces where screens including the TV are turned off, such as mealtimes and in bed. This means parents have to stay off their screens too!

Challenge your family to have no screen time for one week. Replace that time with family time, time with friends, or fun activities.

Screen rage is a phenomenon that is becoming all-too-familiar in modern families. Setting up expectations and clear guidelines about appropriate screen use is the best way to prevent the emotional and behavioural meltdowns our kids experience when the end of screen time is imposed by adults.

For babies, toddlers and younger children, parents determine the boundaries around screen use and ensure they adhered to. As children grow older, their use of screens increases as they add academic and social aspects in addition to entertainment.

Parents should still monitor screen use with older children and adolescents, however, you can involve your children in setting the boundaries and expectations so they feel they have contributed to the screen use rules and are more likely to follow them.
If screen rage continues to be an issue within your family, seek professional help. We offer a free phone consultation with our psychologists, and individualised psychological support to best meet the needs of you and your children.

Sources:

Australian Government Department of Health and Aging. Move and Play Every Day. National Physical Activity Recommendations for Children 0–5 Years. Canberra: Australia: Commonwealth of Australia Department of Health and Aging; 2010.

Duch, H., Fisher, E.M, Ensari, I., & Harrington, A. (2013). Screen time use in children under 3 years old: a systematic review of correlates. International Journal of Behavioral Nutrition and Physical Activity, 10: 102. Retrieved from http://www.ijbnpa.org/content/10/1/102.

Houghton, S., Hunter, S.C., Rosenberg, M, Wood, L., Zadow, C., Martin, K, & Shilton, T. (2015). Virtually impossible: limiting Australian children and adolescents daily screen based media use. BMC Public Health, 15:5. Retrieved from http://www.biomedcentral.com/1471-2458/15/5

Kaneshiro, N. (2013). Screentime and children. Retrieved from http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/patientinstructions/000355.htm

Okely AD, Salmon J, Vella SA, Cliff D, Timperio A, Tremblay M, Trost SG, Shilton T, Hinkley T, Ridgers N, Phillipson L, Hesketh K, Parrish A-M, Janssen X, Brown M, Emmel J, Marino N.(2012). A Systematic Review to inform the Australian Sedentary Behaviour Guidelines for Children and Young People. Report prepared for the Australian Government Department of Health, June 2012. Canberra: Australia.

Rosen, L.D. (2012). iDisorder: Understanding our obsession with technology and overcoming its hold on us. Palgrave Macmillan: Hampshire, UK.

Screen Time Rage!

24/08/2015

Parenting Skills , Social Skills , Technology, Device Use and Social Media

Changes Psychology Team

Screen Time Rage, or Screen Rage, is a relatively new concept being used to describe the reactive behaviours of children and adolescents commonly seen when their electronic entertainment device of choice is disrupted or ends.

It is also known as Ipad Irateness, Tv Turn off Tornado, Xbox Xplosion, DS Destruction, and the Screen Crazies amongst other things. Screen time is any time spent using an electronic device with a screen that we watch or interact with (Houghton, et al., 2015). These include, but are not limited to TV, laptops/computers, mobile phones, tablets, smart phones, ipod touch, playstations, Xbox, and even iwatches.

The amazing array of screens available today, and the accessibility of such devices gives children (and adults) access to the wider world that has never been experienced in generations before. The use of electronic devices for entertainment, social and academic purposes is so much a part of our kids’ lives now that negative behaviour and family tensions relating to the use of them is on every parent’s mind, and it is an increasing problem that isn’t going away anytime soon.

Why are these “screen time rages” so distinct and difficult to stop?

Screen time is psychologically a very attractive thing: Screen devices provide children with stimuli that is both highly visually and auditorily appealing (Rosen, 2012). It rewards us in a way that is difficult to replicate in the “real world” as it:

usually involves a great deal of attention and focus, requiring varied parts of the brain to be active or inactive.
engages through colour, movement, lighting, sound, and dialogue that appeals to what children like and how they think.
is ingrained in just about every aspect of life including entertainment, socialising and learning.
provides immediate rewards which reinforces the desire to engage in further screen time.

All of these characteristics make the appeal of screen time very powerful, especially for children and adolescents. However, screen time can cause problems if over-used or used inappropriately.

Research suggests that excessive screen time in children is linked to negative health outcomes including obesity, poor language development, cognitive impairments, mood disorders, social skills deficients, sleep difficulties, and increases in risk-taking behaviours (Duch, Fisher, Ensari & Harington, 2013; Okely, et al., 2012). However, there is much debate as to just how much time kids should be spending infront of screens.
Recommendations by the Australian Government Department of Health and Ageing (2010; Okely, et al., 2012) are that children younger than 2 years old have no screen time, children 2-5 years old spend less than one hour each day in front of screens, and children aged 5 and above spend a maximum of two hours engaged in screen time. However, recent research suggests such recommendations are too restrictive given the extent that technology is saturated into our daily lives, they do not account for the increasing use of screens for educational purposes, and that a large percentage of Australian children and adolescents use screens for well over these daily recommendations (Houghton, et al., 2015).

Sources:

Australian Government Department of Health and Aging. Move and Play Every Day. National Physical Activity Recommendations for Children 0–5 Years. Canberra: Australia: Commonwealth of Australia Department of Health and Aging; 2010.

Duch, H., Fisher, E.M, Ensari, I., & Harrington, A. (2013). Screen time use in children under 3 years old: a systematic review of correlates. International Journal of Behavioral Nutrition and Physical Activity, 10: 102. Retrieved from http://www.ijbnpa.org/content/10/1/102.

Houghton, S., Hunter, S.C., Rosenberg, M, Wood, L., Zadow, C., Martin, K, & Shilton, T. (2015). Virtually impossible: limiting Australian children and adolescents daily screen based media use. BMC Public Health, 15:5. Retrieved from http://www.biomedcentral.com/1471-2458/15/5

Kaneshiro, N. (2013). Screentime and children. Retrieved from http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/patientinstructions/000355.htm

Okely AD, Salmon J, Vella SA, Cliff D, Timperio A, Tremblay M, Trost SG, Shilton T, Hinkley T, Ridgers N, Phillipson L, Hesketh K, Parrish A-M, Janssen X, Brown M, Emmel J, Marino N.(2012). A Systematic Review to inform the Australian Sedentary Behaviour Guidelines for Children and Young People. Report prepared for the Australian Government Department of Health, June 2012. Canberra: Australia.