Signs your child may not be coping well with changes

22/08/2016

Changes Psychology Team

Every child is unique. Being sensitive to your child means that you will be able to notice when he needs help and assist him appropriately. Here are some common signs that your child may not be coping as well as usual:

Changes in their behaviour – perhaps your child has become a little more defiant, or she takes longer to get ready in the morning. She may seem constantly tired and grumpy. Or she may have become more rambunctious and hyperactive. If your child’s behaviour is different from her ‘normal’ behaviour then it may be a sign she needs help.

Changes in social behaviour – Children who suddenly wish to spend more time alone and don’t seem to want to spend time with friends or family may be showing signs that they are struggling. Social withdrawal and keeping to himself for long periods may be a warning sign.

Problems at school or academically – Children who are struggling emotionally most often begin to show difficulties at school. They may find it hard to concentrate and finish tasks, become disruptive during class or simply struggle to keep up with the work. Talk to your child’s teacher for feedback and take note if she is starting to lag behind academically or getting into trouble often at school.

Loss of excitement – children are naturally full of energy and easily pleased. If your child looks as though he is no longer interested in the things that used to make him happy, or he is no longer excitable then it may be a warning sign that he is struggling emotionally.

Changes in appetite or sleep habits. Some children lose interest in food, or become overly fussy. Others start to over-eat or become quite focused on food. Changes in sleep patterns can also indicate issues in a child’s life – children may want to sleep more than usual, or find it difficult to get to sleep or stay asleep. If these patterns are unusual for your child, look into what may be contributing to the changes.

While we have broad based signs that children may be having difficulties, it is important for parents to assess their children sensitively and with regards to their unique natures. If you notice your child is not coping as they usually do, and you would like assistance in supporting them, it may be helpful to speak with one of our psychologists.

Resilient children and flexible routines

06/11/2015

Anxiety, Fears and Phobias , Behaviours and Discipline , Parenting Skills , Resilience and Self-confidence , Social Skills

Changes Psychology Team

Routines that allow flexibility are a good way to create resilient children.

Routines are important for children as they provide a sense of predictability in an otherwise unpredictable world. Routines also facilitate a sense of control and independence as children know what is expected, know how to complete tasks ask for help, and learn to manage their actions within a set pattern of activities to be done.

Routines can provide much comfort in times of distress, again because your child knows what to expect and what comes next, helping with their resilience or ability to continue on and cope with the situation.

Encourage your child to be involved in establishing routines within the family, e.g. what needs to be done in the mornings before school?

Making the list of tasks into a visual chart can be helpful for both yourself and your child as it makes the routine easy to refer to and can be personalised to encourage a sense of ownership and adherence.

For routines to be most effective, they need to be able to have some flexibility too.

Changes Psychology Flexible routines We can’t always predict what is going to happen on a daily basis and life will throw challenges our way, and at our kids too! So helping our children to understand that, and experience some flexibility rather than being stuck in rigidity, teaches them that it is a positive skill to be able to adapt to changes and go with the flow and fosters resilience.

How family and community create resilience in kids

28/10/2015

Anxiety, Fears and Phobias , Behaviours and Discipline , Parenting Skills , Resilience and Self-confidence , Social Skills

Changes Psychology Team

Resilience in our children ultimately will be something that comes from within themselves, but our support and that of the support networks around them will aid that growth and offer them ongoing places for advice, guidance and help.

Obtaining support from other people and experiencing some predictability in life promotes resilience by building a child’s sense of being valued, competent and having some control over situations that may arise.

Humans are naturally sociable creatures and helping our children connect with other people strengthens resilience by providing the opportunity for social support and the belief that such support is available when needed.

It can be helpful to discuss with your child who they identify as people they can access support from and how they would get the assistance they need in various situations.
- Encourage your child to pick at least five people then assign each person to a finger or thumb on one hand. This can help your child remember who those support people are, e.g. my teacher is my pointer finger.

Role play various scenarios with your child to help them figure out who they would contact for support, how they would contact them, what they would say to explain the situation, etc. This can help build your child’s confidence in managing situations that may arise.

Encourage your child to be a friend in order to make and keep friends. Being involved in social, sporting, cultural, school, or spiritual events and groups can also promote a child’s sense of belonging, self worth, and belief that they are surrounded by people who will support them when in need.

Why we need more Resilience in our children

24/10/2015

Anxiety, Fears and Phobias , Behaviours and Discipline , Grief and Loss , Parenting Skills , Resilience and Self-confidence , Social Skills

Changes Psychology Team

Resilience is a skill that can be learned and practiced throughout life and a skill we need to be teaching our children.

Teaching children resilience facilitates their ability to cope with difficulties, whether they be daily events like stress of schoolwork, or infrequent trauma like losing a loved one.

Some people face more adversity in life than others, but the ability to cope and draw on protective factors benefits every child.

Research suggests children with low resilience tend to be more socially isolated, have poorer social skills, be more vulnerable to mental health problems, be more likely to become involved in criminal activities and/or violence, experience school failure, demonstrate challenging behaviours, have poorer physical health, lower self esteem, and hold a negative view of the future.

Children with higher levels of resilience have healthy attachments and connections with others, feel valued, believe in their own abilities and strengths, learn to set realistic goals, have healthy self esteem, are both physically and psychologically healthier, and have a positive and hopeful outlook for the future.

While the degree of resilience differs between individuals and circumstances, it makes sense then that parents and significant adults in children and young people’s lives help promote protective factors that can increase our children’s ability to cope with situations and successfully adapt for the future.

What is resilience and can it be learned?

22/10/2015

Anxiety, Fears and Phobias , Behaviours and Discipline , Grief and Loss , Resilience and Self-confidence , Social Skills

Changes Psychology Team

Resilience has become a common term used when talking about how children, and adults, cope in the face of adversity.

Resilience is having the ability to ‘bounce back’ and adapt to challenges and stressors in life. It is an important skill to have as we will all experience difficult times, setbacks, and stress. Resilience doesn’t mean a person has no emotional reactions to events – it is normal and healthy to feel emotional pain and distress when either we experience difficulties or hear about others’ traumatic experiences.

Instead, resilience involves acknowledging our emotions and implementing effective thoughts and behaviours to build our capacity to cope with life events and hardships. It is not a trait humans are born with but rather one that can be developed and learned over time, and a wonderful life skill to pass on to our children.

People who are resilient tend to have a higher sense of self-worth, and be more confident and hopeful. It is not however necessary,nor advisable, to throw our kids into traumatic situations in order to build up their resilience.

Most children living in supportive families and communities learn ways to adapt to situations they face in life which can help them cope better when they face challenging or threatening circumstances. However, there are a number of things parents, teachers and significant adults can do to help promote resilience in children.